Multiplication Board

Multiplication tables were one of our greatest problems in maths. Last year somehow I made him write the tables.

But this year it is problems and also division.If I had not found this post on Tiffany's Child's play I dont know what I would have done. With the help of this board and with the help of the patterns I was able to reach his brain at last. Even I dont know the tables correctly. So it is a great relief to see him do it nicely.

I think the basic thing to do easy maths is to learn the tables. Addition tables, multiplication tables and division tables. That is what always keeps me behind.

Siva preparing for his Maths exams.

Black out !

Exams are going on in full swing and both of us are exhausted. Today Ruby has Hindi exam. Saturday , that is three days before we had written all the question answers, meanings and opposites.

Even though he couldn't remember some of them I should say I was happy with what he did. I marveled how nicely he is writing with minimum spelling mistakes.

After that we tried to learn the difficult ones. We  made a chart and stuck it on the wall.

I was relaxed. We just needed to brush up the note and text.

And yesterday when we sat down to revise, slowly I realised with horror that he doesn't remember a single word or qn answer or even how to write the alphabets.

He is blank !

His connection with the note and text has been erased. I could feel the emptiness.

With only 2 or 3 hours in hand I didn't know what could be done. I abruptly stopped the revision. There is no point in going forward. It will only confuse him further.

What will I do if this happen ? Or what will I need to reconnect to my memory ? That was my question. Then I realised the biggest aid will be a visual stimulus supported by an auditory stimulus.

As students , we have tried this while preparing for our physiotherapy exams. Two or three hours before the exam we will all gather and  some body in the group will read out the important points .

If some one has not prepared a certain portion we will briefly explain the points as small chunks for short term memory,  so that the qn. doesn't have to be left unanswered. ( STM can store the maximum of 7 chunks for a single point , after that the ability to retrieve decreases ).

Every body is to listen keenly and concentrate on the sound. Each of us  will take turns and thus for each topic we will have a different sound memory.

When it comes to remembering, I think sound stimulus is more powerful than the visual memory of printed papers. Especially if what is in the paper doesn't make much sense.

So instead of asking Ruby to write the  answer I showed him his books , page by page and read it to him loudly and in a relaxed way with emphasis to areas that were difficult to him. Then I send him to sleep. In the morning also I did the same thing.

Now he has gone to school. Whether he will remember them or not , or will he write them all upside down I don't know. And he may not realise it.  I can see the blankness in his eyes.

Any of these can happen . And I think that is the most frustrating problem with dyslexia.

I wish him ' clair voyance ' ( clear vision ) !, let him find the correct orientation of letters. And then he will be able to write and complete the exam.

You should write, my dear. Other wise they would never know !

When Siva has to write about something he will write about it so personally that it may not at all connected to the main subject in one glance.

I am overwhelmed how widely and how vividly he relates it to his experiences . The problem is he has so many ideas he don't know which one to put first or how to connect them. And he may come up with some thing not related to it in first sight. ( if you want to know how exactly exceptional child's thought process goes , see this post by " child play .)

Last week Siva had a question. What do children do for children's day ? And his answer is " I and my sister will play a 'broad' game called fairy land. " Even I didn't remember the fact that that they were playing it on that day with real candy and lollipops and had a great time. But that would not score marks. They are supposed to write what ever body will normally do or what they are supposed to do.

Today they have GK exams and yesterday we were preparing . I asked him to write about or say a few sentences about holidays.

He stared at me for more than ten minutes. I had to fight back my instinct to give suggestions. Good that I had some home work reading!

Then he came up with this. " I help my mother in gardening....................I play with my sister . ( after much prodding ) ..................... Some times............. we have............. ice cream."

I was on the verge of tears . " Is this how you enjoy your holidays ?

( " Am I bringing them up in some jail ? ")

patience , patience . I told myself.

I told him not to take the question so personally. Just say how kids enjoy their holidays . Again staring!!!!!!!!!

Now I have almost 10-12 sentences ready in my mind.And is ready to pounce on him.

Ok , tell me what all comes to your mind when you think of  holidays ? " Fun- ice cream - gardening-----------  I go to my father's office. ( ?????? )

Oh God. there seems to be a crack in my  sweet composure . The sensitive mom is coming up front ! How could he ? Is this how I bring them up ? Is this pathetic they celebrate their holidays ? I took it rather personally.

What about the parks, trips, beaches , games, video games ?

" oh yes ! sometimes... when my mother gives me time...... I play video games ! " He looked at me triumphantly. with joy that he could bring up one more sentence.

But I give up. I am horrified ! What his teacher will think if she sees this ? Some thing as nasty as child labour ?

Almost one hour has gone And I gave up. He has more than 25 pages to cover and has to mug up almost every word.

I winded up  telling him this .

" For the first sentence you write what the word means. You can select any of the sentences you have learned from your old books.  Then Concentrate on the pictures that come to your mind . The next few sentences you write what all are connected to it. Think of the words that come to your mind and make a sentence with each word. ( think what all of us are supposed to do for the asked qn. Don't think what you did. ). Close the paragraph with a common statement. I love this , or it is important or some thing like that.

I don't know how much good this will do. Now he has gone to school and I am so much taken up by his answers. Do they really spend their holidays so dryly ? Or is it just one other trait ?

Yes ,I know he sees every thing about the holidays in his mind. But the chain of thoughts are  so never ending he doesn't know where to break up and make a sentence.

I am stopping this post in mid way without any closing statement . Because I don't know what has to be done . To break the ice and to help him open up. To break the chain of thoughts and to remind him that he should write more and think less. And teacher would never know he thinks  so much about it and writes so less.

You must write them down, My dear. Otherwise they would never know how  beautiful your thoughts are and how deep you think . ( my eyes are filled with tears ) You must write them down. Some how!

But How ?

The world of grass hoppers.

I don't know exactly how many grass hoppers Ruby has brought home till date . Any time he could be found with a bottle for grass hoppers, with even grass for them to eat.

Whenever he goes out he finds out grass hoppers from no where. When we go to the park he suddenly points out the group of grass hoppers and the endless activities that goes on in the ground which we may otherwise not notice. After he gets dressed for school he goes hunting for grass hoppers.

This grass hopper, he claims to have saved from drowning. And sadly enough he could not find its family . They had even put some name  for it which I don't remember . But I realised it is a bit difficult to take this guy's snap. Anyways he seemed to listen to Ruby.

Now he pores himself into the book of bugs we got from the Book Fest. He even sleeps with that book.

Right now he is reading the book to his grand mother and she is listening obligingly. :-D

Yesterday he enacted to me how a butterfly sucks nectar from a flower. How the wings move , how it maintains balance and so many other details which obviously he had observed himself.  ( I wonder how they diagnosed him with ADDH )

I seriously think he may take up Entomology for his higher studies. ughh !!! Of all !!!

I don't know if it is a trait of LD kids, they have a love for the down trodden. In the aquarium his favourite is the sucker , which no body else will notice otherwise.

Anyway now the skin specialist has warned him that grass hoppers may bite  sometimes and he has to be careful.

Shape Hunting

This was inspired from  Child play's Shape Safari.

I had a doubt if my kids were up to it. Siva had fallen down from his bicycle and bruised his elbows a bit nasty. Nothing I said would stop his cry.

As photography is one of his favourites , I thought why don't give it a try. He was crying in full swing and in between the sobs I asked him if he would mind to  come to the terrace and take some pictures of shapes for me.



Suddenly his face brightened.

" What pictures ? "

" Of shapes. I don't know.. You will  have to find them on your own. "

" just like in Mad ( Their favourite show on TV)  ?

" Can I also join ? " Swetha came forward.

And what happened to the bruise and pain ?

 

Vanished for smiles and adventure. We did some cloud watching .  Siva captured the  sunset also. :-)



Swetha's favourite evening time pass. Watching the birds that are flying back home and that rest on the electric line. It is so high up. If I had another camera I would have taken her picture also taking the snap. She is lying on the floor to get a good view. :-D

Books we Read .

I used to have a tough time selecting  books for my kids. But what I do now is just ask them what would they want to read. Or ask them to select themselves. And then I select some more books following the thread , which they may need for further reading . I note down the books and characters referred in their texts and get them later or take print outs from net.

They have developed a habit of looking at the back page to see what all books the publishers have in the same series and collecting them all. Yes, to some extent I give in.



Siva has a taste for magic and mystery books and fairy tales.  His interests are so diverse   :-D . Swetha has no doubts about anything whatsoever.  She always knows her stuff.

They read and reread to their will .  And they refer back to their books whenever they come across the same words or points. While doing projects or looking for extra points they know exactly in which book and where they can find them.When their favourite cartoons come on tv they take their books as well.



What I found out is ,  it is much easier to buy books than to lend them. The fine I give to the library is costing me a fortune.

[caption id="attachment_1047" align="aligncenter" width="397" caption="Their Aunt's contribution"][/caption]

What Reading looks like at Krishnaleela : Setting up the Library , Our books for the fortnight ,No more Harry Potter reading Nights , Loopholes in Rapunzel , Bookmarks for Swetha ,  The world of Grass Hoppers

The books the kids  select themselves ,they will finish it either from the book shop itself or on their way back home. The books I select for them, they may finish in the next day  or next year. Usually in chunks. Any ways they go through the book and refer back when needed.

Forgiving Myself !

There are some people who influence you so much more than anybody who knows you.

Even though I knew it already , Siva was recently diagnosed with LD and I had wanted to know if there is some thing more I could do for him.

I would like to tell you about this sweet girl and her superb mother . I came across their site ,  Childs  play a few months ago when I was searching for LD groups. They are from half way around the other side of world but that didn't make any difference.

The mother and three sweet children showed me other dimensions of learning and more important being happy .I have followed so many of their expeditions and I know she speaks from her heart.

After realising what it is like for my son I have changed a lot . Now a days I work on Alphabets with my  daughter. When I patiently tell her how to write them more efficiently, I see the confused face of my son when he was of her age.

When I guide her through the sleeping and standing lines and when I see the confidence and self respect on her face , I see my son's imploring face telling me " this is all what I can do Mother ". But then, I was too preoccupied with straightening  him out I couldn't see through.

When my daughter's  class teacher tells me  she  is one of the smartest child in her class, I see the disapproving face of my son's teacher and I  cringe remembering the words I accidentally  happened to over hear from her on the phone .

I couldn't help thinking what would be the images in my Son's mind when he think about alphabets or spellings or his life then . I wondered if he will be haunted with those images all through his life.

You would not believe me if I tell you I have not met in person a single parent who has a LD child.What I understand is people here take it so negatively they will not speak out even if their kid is suffering or getting resource help. It is considered something that is to be ashamed of.

So I thought of asking Tiffani who has  gone a long way with her children. I knew it was a bit personal question but again I desperately wanted to know what it would be like.

Yesterday she let me know something her daughter told her , some thing that only a child can tell  and some thing that every mother who work with an exceptional child would be eager to know.

These are the wise words of that young girl, now thirteen year old , doing home schooling with her mother , brother and sister.

“I don’t think you ever get over something like that, but you get past it. You get through it. And you can accept it. I’ve accepted that I’m not as stupid as I thought I was. In most ways I’m smarter. And some things are still really hard, but it’s not because I’m stupid. I just think differently. And that’s OK.”I asked her specifically what she’d say to you and your worries, and she said:

“Someday he’ll see what was happening then, and compare it with what is happening now, and he’ll appreciate how much you changed just for him.”

Naturalist , your answer is for all of us who work relentlessly with our exceptional kids and who are proud of them. And we will all cling to your words because you have proved with your life that all the effort we are taking is worth it.

I have always wondered why nobody tells you exactly how to bring up a child. And why it is only trial and error.

Tiffani told me some thing more important.

It’s not for him to forgive you, it’s for you to find forgiveness from yourself. it’s no use looking backwards. Do I wish I could go back and have a do over with Naturalist? yes, all the time. But all I have is today, and tomorrow, and all the tomorrows going forward. I can use what I know now to make them the best for my kids and myself. I can be present in her life today, and give her all the love, support, encouragement, and positive reinforcement that I didn’t give her for so many years before. It’s all we can do, and it is enough.

Yes , I realise . I should be able to forgive myself and move on. And may be after so many years my son will tell me how his life had changed.

Swamiye saranamayyappa….

Another Mandalakkaalam is on its way ! Time of the year I like the most . All the temples will be beautifully lit and it is the time for  ‘Utsavams ‘

It is a pleasure to see the pilgrims. If you have gone to Sabarimala you will know.

( Sali , One of my secret wishes is that when we get old enough to go there again , we will go together and I will show you all the places I had been with same wonder of a ten year old . I have preserved them all so well in my memory )

My trip ( I don’t know if you can call it that way ) to Sabarimala along with Appa is one of the most fond memories I cherish.

But now that Pamba is so polluted I don’t think it will be the same there.

I remember every bit of it . The Kettunira at our temple. Our journey in the night bus .

When we had gone to take the holy dip in Pamba I was more interested in the beautiful rocks that adorned the river bed and had wanted to bring some of them back home . But Appa would not allow me . And you know what, after the dip I had made a resolution that I will not do any more sins now that I am free of all my sins. Even now I can see the determination on my face . At the age of 10 what sins a girl could have done ? I don't remember !

While at the hike with every  step I looked out for tigers who would pounce on us from between the trees for disturbing the peace of Ayyappan.

And the Sabarimala special ‘ kallumala’ ( tribal necklaces ) . We had bought some green ones for Sali. Even now I buy them out of nostalgia.

On our way back home Appa gave me apples carefully cut with pen knife and  showed me 'Sabaripeetam' and 'Balikeramala' along with his well illustrated stories.  Whether all these really exist there or he just made it up to draw my attention is something I haven't questioned.

More than the spiritual part, during this time of the year the young boys look so serene and pious in their black shirt and black mundu and so sweet with their stubbles. I know they are all 'Ayyappans' and you should not look at them otherwise. Yes ! this is the time of the year I like the most !

The beautiful songs on Sabarimala . There are so many. All of them are my favourite. Especially the one from the old malayalam movie ‘ Chembarathi’.



It was on the background of this song , I got the first hint that I am the one being proposed by Sailendran Chettan. It was obvious that he was getting married but I could not figure out why every body was teasing me . Later I learned that the horoscopes have already been matched. And as they say the rest is history!

It was the first time I had seen the konna flowers bloom other than in April.

He would not tell me any of it even now. ( There should be some thing to talk about in the old age, after we retire . Ah ! What a nice excuse ! ).

So many years have passed by. This year I had wanted to send Siva . But I think he is not yet ready for the tedious hike. May be next year ! And I want all others in the family also to be with him. On his journey to Sabarimala ( and of life as well ) . And make it a Family Tradition.

There are so many things the young generation would want to learn from the men in the family. And a holy trip is the best one to make a start.

Niranjan Our little Prince !

Our books for the fortnight

The child

I always want to be a child.

Never to grow up!

To be my father’s girl ,

To have the freedom to cry to my heart’s fill when he scolds me,

To cling to his fingers , To sit on his shoulders ,

To browbeat my sweet mother into permitting the weirdest deals ,

To linger over  the last drop of my morning tea ignoring her calls ,

To be lazy to get dressed up for  school,

To run to her when she comes home from office ,

To make faces at the dinner table,

To fight with my sister ,

To spank my brother ,

To play,  To sing , To dance ,

To be a child.

Ente maavum pookkum..

For a few weeks I have been hugging and stroking and talking to my mango trees with a prayer that this year they will give sweet mangoes instead of the sour ones they usually have .

Not much later I saw small small flower sprouts on it . Ah ! This year it is going to be great.

I have  kept a cool recipe from my mom -in- law to make tasty tender mangoes in brine. I even made a  list of friends to whom I should give the extra mangoes . I could see how kids will enjoy the ripe mangoes . It is one of Siva's favourite sport to pluck them all along with his father.

All the  mango trees in the neighborhood are heaving with flowers. And what did my sprouts turn out to be ?

New leaves ! Yes, a whole round of new leaves when every where else there are flowers.

And I get........



Heaps and heaps of fallen leaves to rake !

One day standing under the canopy I announced it . " I am going to cut this tree. " That is the best thing to do. At least the front yard could be kept clean.

And what did I see the next day ?

Flowers . I am overwhelmed !

I have heard that plants can hear . I remember the speech given by much admired Dr.Gopalakrishnan Sir(  Senior scientist working in CSIR, Trivandrum and Honorary Director for Indian Institute of Scientific Heritage) on how somebody has developed a rose with no thorns in it just by asking the Rose plant to do so every day !

The newly set aquarium and instant story.

Monthly cleaning of the aquarium is one of my most dreaded chores. But thanks to my kids , anything messy is their favourite.They will help me all through it.

When we arranged the aquarium after wards Ruby wanted to place a treasure chest ( an old ring box ) and some stairs . This lead to a whole new idea. Why can't we arrange an under water world. So we gathered the odds and ends and went for it.



There is  a house , a pebble path , a forest , a pillar rock and an under water tunnel .

( The ( under water tunnel ) broken pot is very important. They are pieces of earthen pot Siva had taken to his ' show and tell' two years back.  He had spoken about ' eco  friendliness '' . The pot broke even before the program started . In spite of that he participated and got first prize. It is a piece of pride for both of us. I just couldn't throw it away. )

The most amazing part is Ruby instantly told us a story about the newly set aquarium with the fishes as characters. When I suggested I will write them down he  told another one . And all this with in almost five minutes. He was so taken up by me writing the story for him he read it to his aunt over the phone and the next day took it to his school. I wrote it with pencil in case he wants to change it later. He also drew a picture of the aquarium .



My son has almost quit writing because he was so fed up with spelling. His sentence formation is also not good. But when I copied down his story for him while he was orating it, I was amazed to see the correct sentence formations , vocabulary , character formation and also the rapid fire of ideas and thoughts of each character. ( I can never concentrate like that )

Since then I have been wondering how these kids can store so much in their brain without giving out a hint of it until we reach them. We will always think they are sitting idle. When I asked him for a story about his new aquarium he was so spontaneous.

I have got a long way to go . He is not yet ready to write on his own. I copied the story down just to show him how talented he is . And he was so proud of it . ( more than making a story , me wanting to write it down )

May be after so many years when he become a famous writer I can say that I wrote his first manuscript :-)

Loopholes !

Hey Guys, There are so many loopholes in the story of Rapunzel. For instance ,

1. how did the witch put Rapunzel in the tower ?

2. If there was stairs or if she fly on a broomstick why she cant use cant use that instead of climbing the hair ?

3. After cutting Rapunzel's hair  how did she get down to leave Rapunzel in the forest and how she climbed up afterwards to wait for the prince ?

And I am stuck ! Really stuck ! Does anybody know where Brother Grimm lives ? We could ask him!

Daughter - A precious gift !

It was Swetha's story time and we were lying on the couch cuddled to each other. So I started .........

Once upon a time there lived a sweet little girl .............

Mother, Was it me ?

No, Not you!   Let me see....

................

Snow white , Sleeping beauty, Cindrella, Goldilocks, Beauty,.....

.................

Rapunzel ?

Rapunzel ! Who is that ?

Oh Yes, So it was Rapunzel !

I started the story and moved on very slowly. I didn't remember exactly how the Prince saved Rapunzel. So Rapunzel had lots of time to stay with her parents and then witch. Just like I expected Swetha was fast asleep by the time the Prince entered . So I have an extra day to find out what the Prince did.

The next morning I was busy with my chores and Kids were on their own . I really thought Swetha forgot about the story. In between she came to me holding this paper.




Mother, see  its Rapunzel !

I was really taken up by the picture. ( see that the Prince is not yet there in the picture ) . It was the first time she has done something completely on her own. As an individual. Until then it was just following her brother. And my heart swell with pride and happiness.

Then it occured to me. I realised that my little girl is growing . Thankfully, soon she will outgrow the frequent tantrums and girlish stubbornness .

And soon she will be out of her childhood. Soon she will be able to figure out things on her own , to work all on her own and may not even need my consent or approval or appreciation. And soon she will be big enough to embark on her own life. I can instantly feel the emptiness.

Then I decided the easiest way is to grow up along with her. To be her best friend.

A girl child can be your bosom friend , loving sister , naughty cousin, caring mother , some times even your mother in law and at the same time your sweet little daughter !

A daughter is surely a precious gift right from the heaven !

WHEN GOD CREATED DAUGHTERS...
He took very special care to find the precious treasures
that would make them sweet and fair...
He gave them smiles of angels, then explored the midnight skies
And took a bit of stardust to make bright and tinkling eyes...
He fashioned them from sugar and a little bit of spice,
He gave them sunny laughter and everything that is nice...
He smiled when He made daughters, because He knew He had
Created love and happiness for every mom and dad !   (Courtesy - orkut communities )

Loopholes in Rapunzel

She found out that , There are so many loopholes in the story of Rapunzel. For instance ,

1. how did the witch put Rapunzel in the tower ?

2. If there was stairs or if she fly on a broomstick why she cant use cant use that instead of climbing the hair ?

3. After cutting Rapunzel’s hair  how did she get down to leave Rapunzel in the forest and how she climbed up afterwards to wait for the prince ?

And I am stuck ! Really stuck ! Does anybody know where Brother Grimm lives ? We could ask him!

Barbies and teddy.

I don't know why Swetha wants a new barbie every year for her birthday.

Any other present has to be supplemented by a barbie as well. I am getting tired of this.

And what she want them for ?

To hug and play ? As her soul mate ?

NO ! Just to mutilate them in every way possible. Good thing that I found out their dresses from under the heap of toys. Maybe  she doesn't want the barbie to outsmart her in beauty. :-D

There is no partiality here.

All the barbies have got the same treatment .

Not even one has escaped.




This year it is Sally and it is only a matter of time for her turn to come.







And her teddy?




He sleeps peacefully in his dig while she is gone to school!

Book Marks For Swetha

It was Siva's Book Mark making day. And  some how I managed  to send him some smart paper cuts which obviously none of his friends had !

I had promised Swetha a few weeks before  that I will make some book marks for her as she doesn't want to keep reading folds on her books ! It is no wonder that she didn't forget it . She had only been back from school and wanted to make them right away.

Thankfully Siva came forward to help me . He was so excited about the whole thing as teacher told him his book marks were very nice.

I just had to give them some cut out papers.



And some stickers ....



And freedom !



Beautiful book marks were ready in no time .



My Only contribution  was a reference . A gift from an old friend  , Long cherished !




----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( It was  11.00 pm when I had reached the book shop for the chart paper and the shop keeper had almost closed   . Thank God he is not one of types who shows long faces . And I was relieved when the next time I went there he asked me in detail about this book mark making thing bcoz with book week celebrations going on in full swing he  is getting  so many queries !! )

The Invisible Thread of Karma !

I don’t believe in the bonds and relations framed by humans.

So many people have told me how naturally me, my brother and sister relate to each other ! . When I think about it deeper it is not  just that 'Blood is thicker than water'  . There is more to it . It is knowing  and accepting each other for what we are . It is being there for each other !

In my life I have seen people who by their deeds have acted  as father , mother , sister, brother , friend, mentor and more……. .

There have been People  who came from nowhere to help me when I was in distress..


Friends  who gave me company when I was alone , showed me how wonderful this world really is,  made me smile and laugh ,

People who caused irreversible pain and in some way helped me ,  changed my life forever.

Mentors who enlightened me , made me think,  helped me move on ,

People who inspired me far more than anybody who knows me .


Some times switching their roles

And most of this with out them ever knowing  what their deeds really meant to me .


Yes, I believe in the invisible thread of karma that bind Humans  together and make us  do what we are destined to , no matter we know it or not , no matter how far or near  !

And once they  finish their Mission they simply vanish into the thin air or  change their roles and it becomes impossible even to trace them back  !

One Woman Thousand Moments …..!

My best day begins with a cup of tea that I can savour watching the flowers and chirping birds……… It ends with, me cuddled up in my bed……….and the sweet smell of jasmines, by the window….. fills the room.

……I love to walk barefooted on grass covered with morning dew and to watch the small fishes swimming in a pond……………….I love to watch the endless waves on a beach……… and to gaze at the stars in the night……

My moods keep on changing and even I don’t know how. It will be fun to keep a track of it.

Our little expeditions - Constellations

Siva had a portable planetaurium show at his school and he is all the more excited about Universe and planets and constellations, even though he cannot pronounce it correctly.

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When we googled in to see the 'Great bear' , he immediately pointed out the Great dipper. He is a bit confused about which way it is pointing. And I almost burst into tears . Not because of seeing my son's brilliance. But it is just impossible for me to see it , no matter however hard I try. ( Not even with the line drawn connecting those stars. )

If possible I would have borrowed his eyes for a while . Just to see the constellation at least for once. For me , stars are just.. well, beautiful bright spots scattered in the sky. I can see and savor their beauty but I cannot see their alignments.

Three dimensional view of anything is one of Siva's greatest strength and it is one of my greatest weakness. I cannot help wondering what a nice pair we make. " Mannankattayum Kariyilayum " !

From the Great bear we moved on to Polar bear- North Pole - Arctic and Antarctic regions - Near to the bear - Polar bear- Away from the bear - penguins- Penguins live in South Pole because there are no predators there on land - They make nest with pebbles and bones . And from there we moved on to the countries near the polar region.

After dyscalculia.

Now that I know I have this problem it is not horrible as I thought it to be .

Now I know exactly the areas I struggle . I can pull myself together getting ready and thus avoid the panics that otherwise occured so frequently.  I don't have to feel bad when I can't do some thing. I can calm myself and start doing it from a different angle. Yes, I am working on it.

Two days before I was able to place a phone call using the coin box in one go, for the first time in my life . Yes,  You can't believe it . Can you ?

I knew what will be coming and I prepared myself before I started. I read the instructions carefully and progressed remembering to concentrate on the sequence. And there I was talking through it. A week Before it was a horror.

With so much effort I make myself do multiplication and sums along with Siva . When he does his Brain gym I also do the  mental sums and Swetha gives the questions. I found out my old calculator and we take turns to check our sums. Yes, I can do it.

It feels like I had been treading  through a dark path which seemed never ending and now  suddenly I realise , I have reached midway . I can see a glimmer of the sunlight and the path that lay ahead is beautifully lit. The only thing I have to do is keep my pace and walk slow and steady. Just like the tortoise in the story I told Swetha yesterday.

In Harmony.

A few months before I would not have thought of my kids doing something other than watching TV , completely on their own and in  harmony.

But now I don't compel them to do any thing. They can decide on their own what they want to do for the evening. I have even stopped giving the time schedules for TV. And what did I get ? They find out their  interests. They come and tell me what they want to do and what help they want from me .They keep track of their projects and their library. They have complete access to the crafts and they do not misuse them.


I was in the Kitchen for some time and when I came to the living room ,  saw both of them so engrossed in their work.

 

Drowned in Dyscalculia

The urge to count with my fingers even in front of others. It is irresistible .  But Otherwise I will simply not be able to complete the sum.  I like to go to super markets mostly because they will tell you the exact balance and they will give you an exact bill. They wont ask you to check it once again. And I can be sure if they  billed something I forgot to take.

If you see me listening to some body who tells me about time or schedules or their strategies or projected amounts  or bills or banking , you may think  I am listening keenly or doing the calculations in my mind . But no, I am just staring into blankness. All of it does not mean any thing to me. I have given up listening to them a long time ago. ( My husband says it is the same for him when he goes to a doctor. Is there some condition like that as well ? I wonder ! )

If  my friends remember correctly I have an Id card with birth date recorded as 1997 instead of 1977. Mahesh , Are  you reading this ? Yes, I am now 13 years old or is it 12 ? Any way,  finally I am into my teens!

Now I have a watch which does not even have numbers. I just fell in love the shape of the dial and strap and couldn't talk myself out of it. But now my times are so vague . Somewhere around something. And looking at the watch dial I feel like looking into a placid pond. It doesn't mean anything. It is okey with me because I don't care so much about time. I just want to know how much more time is left from the time limit I have . ( 5 or 10 minutes to reach some where .. like that  .) It need not be precise and I don't care.

But I hate it when people ask me time . I am so embarrassed. I have to multiply the long hand number with 5 and find the product and then find the short hand number . And then again check the long hand and the again check  the multiplication and ( getting mad ???? )then again relate it to short hand and think if the multiplication has gone wrong , think if  what I think  is correct and then decide on some thing  . ( 15, 30 and 45 is easy but even then I have to mulitply  )

I have set my mobile banner in such a way that I can see time, date and day in letters . Not picture screen . And also calender. It is a blessing that we can carry it around.

I have clocks in every room , in every single position. because I will never know what time of day it is. I have very poor time sesnse. I will get ready early and wait for the correct time . And then I get messed up again in the last minute and reach late. How people really sense time ? I don't know.

I am very poor with days and dates. Now I am so fed up with up my inability to remember I have stopped taking in data. I just ask the relevant people to remind me and tell them not to  expect me to remember it no matter however important it is . Yes I know my birth date. Year ? I have some how mugged it up. But if somebody ask my age I am cornered. Earlier I used to count them .  But I don't that will apply now. Now every year I by heart my age. Wedding Anniversary ..tenth or eleventh ? ( my sister has got a head for numbers and dates and she makes it a point to call me before important dates ) My kid's birth dates ...I will count and subtract and do whatever possible.

Few days back only I told my sister I cannot understand the layout and  I have given up. Instead I drew every single page of the web site, with drop downs , in the order , how I want it to be and handed it over to the professional.  I think the persevering nature covers  the  problem to some extend and doesn't let anybody find out how dreadful it is to be a dyscalculic.

The wonderful eyes of a 5 year old.

We were coming back from one of our usual evening strolls. It was getting dark and the stars had started to shine. I pointed at a bright star towards the south eastern part of the sky and wondered what it was.

It was very bright and I said aloud it could be the Alpha centaury because it is so bright. I had learned some where Alpha centaury doesn't blink as it is most near to us.. Again I wondered if it is the polar star ? But the Polar star is visible only in the morning. ( north or south ? I am not sure. )

So I had no idea what this star was but I kept on babbling just to continue the talk with Siva. I thought I will check some where later and explain it to him.

Siva , of course had no doubts. He was sure it was a planet . because it was not blinking. Oh ! yes, planets are also there. Then it came to me it could be Venus! The brightest planet . Siva's suggestion of it being Mars was cut out as there was no red hue.

Jupiter? Saturn ? Can you see the rings ?

We were so caught up in our conversation we forgot about Swetha who was trying hard to keep up with us ! Of course she also had her own findings . She thought both of us were  dumb fools ! Cannot see through the most simple thing.

She interrupted us to say the most beautiful words !" Mother , it is just a fire fly high up there !"

And she was so sure about it. I envy her for the wonder a 5 year old's eyes have . Oh God ! Please let me see this world with those eyes! So innocent and so naive !

I think what we saw then was Venus . Points to Siva :-(  .

Venus is visible in the South eastern part of evening sky and South western part of morning sky. Polar star is visible here only in the early morning and only in the North. It doesn't change its position ( Dhruva Nakshatram ). And Alpha centaury is a cluster of stars.

My journey through Dyscalculia - Give me a calculator

Give me a calculator, I will just throw it away. Give me an ATM card and I will SCREAM .

Just a couple of days back only I realised I might be having Dyscalculia which can  be described in most simple words as number blindness . You can check the symptoms of Dyscalculia here !

I can completely relate to all of these. Actually it looks like my autobiography.

Even before I knew about this condition I had known exactly what my problems were and could even put them into words. But then I didn't know all these problems were interconnected and pointed to a single condition. And then I didn't know this was the answer to all the frustrations, anger, despair , depression , low self esteem , and helplessness I had felt all through  my life.

I needed to list down my problems one by one ,  so that I can find how to tackle each of them.  Without a list I am lost. Some times I even keep a list of all the lists I have with me.

Earlier I used to rely on calculator for my day to day sums. I will try 5 or 6  times to complete the sequence without mistake and eventually give up. And if I manage to get through and try to recheck my answer,  then I am lost. I will get a different answer every time.

I have always despised scientific calculators. My husband being in Accounting,  like the most complex ones. And I have the most simplest one with me..

For the past two days I have been reading a lot from the dyscalculia forum. And I realise there are so many people out there who suffer exactly like me.  I found the following there . This is exactly how it is for me to work with a calculator.

! Let's see , did I type in the plus sign and oh the equal sign uhm I don't remember :! Start over Concentrate Add, subtract . . . .Oh no distraction . Can't add or sutract with or without a calculator!

zero or two zeros , decimal or zero , did I press '+' again . Did I press '=' and is this the answer ? It is a total disaster. I have completely given up using a calculator. I don't even carry one now.

When I try to do a sum in my mind it is as though my shortsightedness has affected my mind also. My mind gets filled with fog and the numbers start to dissolve. It is like looking out of the window when it is  dark and misty. Some times I imagine to wipe  off the mist just like we do when we can't see through the front glass of a car when it is raining.

But the image just get bizarre and I cant go further. The numbers start moving, turn upside down, reverse, blink..........

The numbers won't stand straight for me to add or subtract . Division.........! Don't even think about it....... Every thing will get dark and go beyond my area of vision......Percentage and interests and I will run away ! .........Ask me to count something and you will see me in a maze. Counting and recounting.

And the most happiest thing that happened in my life was that I got married to a maths genius. ( I don't have to do the calculations any more :-D )

I think my hubby understands maths and accounts even more than human language. Ha ha ! Some times he just gets bewildered that I cant even do the simple day to day maths . Or why I can't count properly .Because other wise I insist that I have above average intelligence . ( my belief !)

But I tell you ,This world is a dreadful place for people who cant do maths properly. Remembering all the faces that stared at me when I stumbled with simple bills and change.

This all happened before I knew I am a dyscalculic. (yes , I am starting to accept the term.)

And you know in which stage I am in ? Phobia. Afraid of Maths and related devices. Bank Phobia. Afraid to handle cash . I dont know how many times i have sworn " why we didn't stick to barter system "

Apprehensive of every thing and every body if I have to deal with numbers and calculations and fractions and schedules and so many things.

But I wont give up. Now that I know it , I will find some way to tackle at least some of the problems . One of my greatest strength is Perseverance. ( I wrote this before I stumbled upon the words of this great great man. )

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer- Albert Einstein  ( A dyslexic and dyscalculic himself. )

So, I am not alone !

MY GREATEST RESOLUTIONS ! YES !!!

Half of my time I spend organising every thing so that it would be easy for me to keep on track. And the remaining half I keep on re - organising them so that no body notices my absent mindedness.

I had enrolled Swetha for some talent day programs. But now that I have to prepare her I don't remember which were the programs . I am planning to write a letter to her teacher to let me know from the list ! hahaha !

I keep on and keep on and keep on......... making newer and tougher resolutions to fight against my absent minded nature. But in vain. So I thought why don't I write them down.

I am not making a resolution ' To Remember'  . Well, that would almost be impossible. ' I will not forget ' sounds to be more easy.

I will not forget

1. the day and date every day / any day.

2.  about the next day's breakfast...........  to cook . ( not cooking ! just to cook every day's food.).

3.  to pay the bills on time ( This itself will take care of almost 75% of  my problems. ).......... to charge my mobile on time.

4. to put the laundry on time............to  put the washing powder............to switch on the machine ............... to connect and switch on the pipe.. to press the buttons............... to check if it has started working....... ( After all these steps it is a real wonder I some times get it all done . )

5.  to fold the clothes and sort it out and keep it in exact places . Aaarg h!!!!!!!! ! To keep the waste............to buy the milk and groceries on time....... I will not forget to boil enough drinking water. ( we don't rely on filters ) .............and to switch off the burner on time. ........to do the dishes ............ to sweep and mop and dust.

6 .  to eat food and drink water on time .

7.  to set hubby dear's take away bag / mobile / comb/bath towel/ clothes / key ???? .... never ending.

8.  the assignments given by hubby, the Boss.

9. to book tickets..........to light the prayer lamp every day..............to do the bed................to water my plants.

10.  to  check my check list .

I will not forget my resolutions and want to start all over again.

Oh! Life is really tough . How do every body else manage to live with all these done ? ( My biggest question about life )

But in my case there is nothing any body can do.  First my mother and then my hubby dear have done every thing humanly possible to make a woman out of me :-o ,  and have hopelessly given up ! :-D


But the most amazing thing is some times I manage to pull along with out catching any body's eyes ! :-D

[caption id="attachment_962" align="aligncenter" width="396" caption="Daily Resolutions !"][/caption]

Setting up the Library .

I realised it is time for us to reset and list down the books in our library when I bought the same  picture dictionary for the second time. Now we have one with hard cover and one with paper back. And four versions of Cindrella. Yesterday also I bought one ( again ) thinking I don't have one with good pictures and writing. And there are some other books also which I don't remember.


Kids would have known it but now  some times I  go alone so that I can take my own time.

To decide is easy , but to work it out is not . But when I suggested it, kids took the whole thing away from me and worked it out  on their own.

I helped them to sort the books  and we decided to  give alphabets ( is my number  phobia  showing ? ) to every category .

I showed them how to  list down the names of books under each category and  they took it from there.

They stuck the stickers and wrote the categories.

Arranged it according to the categories.

Found out every book in the house ....

What seemed to me as a dreadful, tedious and boring job was completed with so much joy, planning, sharing, and confidence.

And our library couldn't have been more organised!

Awe struck at beauty of nature!

Hidden Powers of the natural elements always held me spell bound   ; Earth, Water, Air and Fire .They appear so calm yet they are so strong!

Water is one of my all time passion. May it be a spring , water fall , stream, river , sea, lake or simply a glass of crystal clear water. It has always entranced me with its mystery of deepness.

I believe in the super natural power that keeps every thing moving and at the same time maintaining the balance.

The Spice box .

You will wonder finding out how much kids can learn from day to day life.

When I asked Pearl to set up the spice box for me I just wanted to keep her busy. She got so excited about the idea and Ruby also joined her.

First I had asked her only to clean and wipe the boxes . Any way she was washing them on her own.  She has the habit of washing every thing set on the dining table. The wash basin is ideal for her height.

Seeing their enthusiasm I asked them to fill the spices also.

As always Ruby made a step by step plan and arrangements to do it. How the small boxes will come in a line , get cleaned and filled ( he would have weighed it also if he could ) and go into the bigger box as though it is done in a factory by some machine.

It was fun to watch them taking turns and doing it on their own. Unknowingly I also joined in.

When they started filling the boxes I explained to them the name of the spices , which part of the plant is being used , which of them give the aroma for their different favourite dishes and their uses other than cooking. Ruby also contributed his part.




From the encyclopedia we found out pictures , their names in our mother tongue and some other foreign spices and herbs commonly used and it turned out into a spicy evening.

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I remember vividly  when I was a kid just like them , how my mother used to explain to me about the anatomy of fish when she cleaned them , about air bladders , fins and gills , stream lining, breeding .

How she explained to me about different plants and their species while she worked in the kitchen and I helped her or simply hanged around ,  how plants propagated and pollinated , the toxins that may be present in different plants  , how fungus and algae grow, how they have deep roots down in the food and spores and lot of other things .

In simple words and some times using definite terms.

It really ignited my interest in them and gave me a good start when I selected Bio for my college levels.

She collected books with astronomy and stars and planets because I was very much interested in heavenly bodies and their arrangements .

Your mother will always know you deep down to your heart. I can fool any body in this whole world but not her.

Ruby makes Pasta

What is special in cooking . Nothing special in it other than mere wonder for normal kids. But for children who can understand only with their hands on there is a lot to study in  every thing they do ,with out them knowing that they are learning.

Ruby voluntered to make pasta because he likes cooking and he was so much taken up by the tangy tomato ad and the free sticker they have in it.

At first I also thought it to be a time pass. I was enagaged with some thing else , so I asked him to read the instructions himself and arrange things needed.

So he asked me about litres and ml. Well, I am as ignorant as he is. When it comes to conversion my mind gets filled with fog. So I digged my brain for the conversion. ( I am not writing it because I am not sure :-D ) I told him how many ml makes 1 litre. How many cups make 500 ml and the milk we get here is 500 ml and a lots of other trivia which could be connected to this.

Then he asked me where he can get a 'tsp' . So I collected the different types of spoons we have and explained to him about tea spoon , table spoon and soup spoon and the volumes they hold.  1 tea spoon = 5 ml and 1 tb sp = 15 ml . I connected it with his medicine cup which holds 5ml.

Then he wanted to check the time.  He is very precise about time. Even when  he looks at a normal clock he will tell time only in minute minutes like 8.32 or 12.01 like that . So nothing much for me to do. Now he has a stop watch to do his abacus and he would have happily used it.

[caption id="attachment_1020" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Food fusion - Pasta with bread and chana. Later they made it into a sandwich :-D"][/caption]

The sheer joy of seeing him completing things on his own is beyond words.

And you know what, he will remeber every bit of it. Even the minute details of those 30 minutes because he enjoyed it.

I can say confidently because he directed Swetha when it was her turn to make pasta.

And the words in the instructions ; It has been taken undoubtedly into his vocabulary. And I know that he can do the same thing with much more ease just by looking at the pictures given.

Just see around . There are lots of things that can be connected to kids .

Oh! What an idea Sirji :-D

Swetha had been complaining for a bed lamp for so many days.

At last I decided to fix one . I had some other petty maintenance also. So I called for the electrician and as we know him close I told him how Swetha is adamant about the bed lamp. She came back from school before he finished his work . The bed lamp was yet to be fixed.

She was watching the work and in between I asked her if there is any thing  she wants him to do for her.  I wanted to know if she can connect between fixing the bed lamp and electrician. The electrician also joined in and asked her if there is anything that he should do for her.

I could see that she was confused but thought she would come up with it.

" hmmm ... I don't have anything in particular. I you really want to do something you can complete my home work for me'". She was so serious . My jaw dropped.

" any thing but writing for you , little one. I have never been good in writing. " The electrician replied in the same tone. Only after that we burst out into laughing.  :-D

Swetha got  furious. She did really mean it.  It took me some time and so much effort to explain to her that electricians are not expected to do such works and she has to do her home works by herself.

I am sure she will out source all her work and chores if she can help it . :-D

No more Harry Potter reading nights!

" From now on no body is going to read Harry Potter here . Especially at nights!  " My five year old little girl announced !

And why is that sweetie ?  Unlike her brother she always have explanation.

' Cant you think that there are small children near and they would be scared and it would be better if I read them in my mind  ? "  Yes these were the exact words  my little girl said .

She glared at me with burning eyes. I tried not to laugh. The last thing she wants is to be laughed it. It can really pull her nerve.

'and I don't want to see any book which has pages more than 20. Just look at this book . It has 22, 23 .. Disgusting !  " She flipped through the pages to show me .  " If you want to read loud you can read my Winnie the Pooh instead !"

It took me two days to figure out that her baby books have pages  only up to 20 at the most . Her books will be over within 5 or ten minutes. But she wants to keep fold marks  like her brother and me to continue the next day. I try to read only 2 or 3 pages at a time so that she can continue the next day.  But she has figured it out from the page numbers.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't meet both of them earlier in my life. The only flaw I see in myself is my short temper . Other than that I would be a sweet angel , you know. I am not kidding. Those who know me will testify that. Now  my kids  are  teaching me how to get more , just by being patient . Surely, I feel I should have met them earlier in my life.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Oct 12

No, my finding was wrong. Now she is adamant that I don't make any fold marks in her books. Her new books will be tampered that way ! That is what she says ! But she doesn't want to finish them in one go. May be  should make her some Book marks.

Saying about it I remember how surprised they were to see one of old book marks gifted to me by my friend. Obviously it  haven't even occurred to them that I also used to go to school and colleges and I also had friends who cared a lot for me!

____________________________________________________________________________

Ruby and Emerald!

I am tired explaining to my kids every time that they are equally important to me. And if I say one is good it does not mean that other is bad!

I realised that  I will have to work out something to make them understand ! Then this idea struck me.

I started to explain. More to myself than to them.

Imagine that I have got a Ruby and an Emerald. Which one is more good? It took my Son only a second to answer it.

" How can we ever compare them ? They are both precious stones !"  Thank God ! He knows ! Now only he completed the lesson 'Ruby returns' !

So you two are my Ruby and  my Emerald . Both colours are my favourites  and I cannot choose between them .



Which one do You want to be ?  A Ruby or an Emerald ? I asked him without giving any suggestions .  I had a feeling he was going to stick to it all through his life. So I wanted him to make the decision on his own.He wanted to be ' Ruby ' with out any doubt.

Now he seemed to understand why you cant compare two kids.

But the next day he surprised me by digging out one of his old school magazines which had a writing on Navaratnas. He made me read every bit of it to see if a Emerald is in any way better than a Ruby . Or if there is anything better than a Ruby . He seems to be content with what has been written.

Incidentally I found out that Ruby is the birthstone of July borns ! How amazing!

The next day he surprised me even more explaining to me about the Navaratnas in Akbar's court and what they were specialised for. Oh god! I will have to work even harder to keep up with him!

My daughter has not given in as she doesn't know what a precious stone means! But I am sure she will also come around. Being a Scorpio her birth stone is Topaz. But an Emerald will do,  as emerald green suits her very well!.

I cant think of the time when my son finds out the emerald ring in my finger. I will have to find out some crazy explanation by then or get a ruby myself.That sounds fine with me! ha ha!

So much for a cooked up Ruby and Emerald  Story.

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August 11

This was posted almost a year ago . Now they know they are treated equally . And They have found out daughter's birth stone is pearl . And she is ready to accept it .

We move on with life and they are now ' Ruby 'and' Pearl '.

K for kite

Swetha wants to do a kite. She has her own ideas of making it. Mind you. It is not in the curriculum. But she wants to make it.

Anyway in the evening they settled in front of the tv as usual. I was about to tell them what we could do. But then I thought . No, I have to change that nature of mine .

I will have to let them lead me.

So I made myself ask them what they  want to do in the evening.

Then Siva spontaneously told me he wants to make a kite for Swetha. So he  has  ideas in his mind other than watching tv. I flinched.

We started without anything. We looked into our activity box for odds and ends. Slowly every thing poured in. Their ideas kept on improving and changing.

They took turns to cut  and paste it.

The kite was finished within no time and it was very cute.

They couldn't have been  more happier .

Why cant a full time planning Mom beat a Cool Dad?

" You want a list of your son's favourite things ? Here they are ! He likes to read a lot of books, He like to go to new places, He likes to know how people live there........ And a dozen more! " His father told me .

"Hey, how do you know?" I asked.

" I just asked him" he stated as though it was the most simplest thing to do.

'This is not fair. This is cheating. You got only a jiffy to talk to him while I was talking to his teacher . Surely you must have bargained him for something. You never speak to him in long lengths ( Like I do)' ! I wanted to say.

And' Siva , You confided in your father despite me spending all time with you and running around to straighten every thing out for you?

What did I miss?' I have never heard my son answering his questions so directly. And his father would never bother to read between the lines.

'This not at all fair! There sure should be some arrangements between both of you. I would like to call for a foul. '

There were lots of things rapid firing in my head.

But then , I should have known it. His father is much smarter than his mother. It is as simple as that!

They both sat there grinning at me as though they share some secret code.

And I tell you, I love him for that! For getting better of me every time without even trying!

What should I do?

My son is in third std. He has Dyslexia. He keeps a time table and is able to do the chores by himself.He is now friendly with his classmates even though he does not have a constant friend. He is very interested in science. Trivia about space, ocean, earth ,nature , working manuals , alignments and a lot. And of course TV and cptr games.

I have some other areas where he struggles and I don't know how to handle them. Please give me your idea so that I can help him out more efficiently.

1. His areas of interests are so vast I cannot point out in which area is he really gifted.

2. He used to enjoy drawing and legos very much and is good at it. Now his ideas are much bigger and he doesn't want to do it because he cannot complete it the way he wants it. He doesnt seem to be pleased with himself no matter how much we appreciate him. He also seems to be worried becoz his friends told him that his drawings are not that good. How shud I tackle this?

3. He is very interested in books . Small books and comics he reads himself. But other books like Harry potter, secret seven etc. he wants me to read them to him. He can comprehend them very nicely . Should I read to him or should I insist that he read by himself?

4. Some times he gets bullied by his van mates. Every day he has to run about for a seat becoz the boys wont allow him to sit along with them. Now I have asked the van driver to give him a permanent seat. Is it okey to interfere in such trivial matters ?

If you think this is  ridiculous please take it as whining of an ignorant parent.  Otherwise please help me.

Giftedness , Learning Disability, Dyslexia; Please Don't feel bad to get help!

I have only heard every body telling me that my son can do better. "He is just not trying "and "he is distracted ".

Even though we realised earlier he may be having a learning problem I hadn't asked any body for help. I thought they may, well, think I am exaggerating or even worse think that my son is just dumb which I don't want to hear.

I weighed in mind several times whether I should or I shouldn't when I asked his Paediatrician , Dr. M.Venugopal about his problem. Then he asked me, " Why didn't you tell me earlier. Please get your child assessed . That is the simplest thing to do. It will not affect his confidence. And more, you can be sure if anything needs to be done."

He gave me a referance letter to Child Care Centre . I was dumbfounded. Help was so near, within an arm's distance and it took me so much time to realise it. I think this is where the importance of awareness comes.

I tell about this to anybody I come across , bcoz only God knows may be their child is also suffering and may be he/she needs help and they do not realise. I think about the years my son suffered, I think about the change I could have bring if I had known.

As Siva has got a very good memory he does good in his exams. Otherwise he struggles a lot in lot of areas.

But this year they have more self writing questions. While preparing for the exams I found that he stumbles with basic words like ' on, the , be'  as though he has never seen them before. That is when I decided to go straight away and take an assessment.

This time he cudn't write first term exams as he was ill and so there were no marks to look out for. So I cud get through and get assistance from resource dept. And his new class teacher couldn't have been more considerate.

When I went to meet his resource teacher yesterday it was a completely different story.

No complaints of being distracted or not trying. Till then I had been defending him all along .

Actually she told me " Your son  is getting bored in his class. Give him more mental and physical work. Please  Don't stress him about spellings. I know what you have been going through. Your son has a 'Bright normal  IQ ' and it is very good.We will see that he is properly taken care of . Principal Mam wants a list of gifted children. We will give him work that matches his IQ. "

Suddenly I found out that I have no more words left to say. It was the first time he was wholeheartedly accepted for his intelligence and God given gifts. I could feel tears welling in my eyes . I somehow managed to  mouth a 'Thank you' and simply left the place !

 

Depressed…….

I like to view at my life,   from outside as if I am watching a movie. Like a different person. Sometimes I feel I am sleeping on my bed in some other planet , satellite , asteroid, comet or even a meteorite and  having a long long dream. I may wake up any moment and see that it is only a dream.

I want my dreams to be sweet and beautiful. I hate it when my sweet dreams turn into the worst night mares.

When I look from up here I can see myself  moving around on earth caught up in lots and lots of thought bubbles , People I care about bustling around with their chores  in different cubicles  . I get scared at the vividness of the sight and stop concentrating.

Sometime in my life I have learned not to get much attached to anything. That is the best way to keep yourself away from being hurt. A part of me can love every one  wholeheartedly and with the solemnness of a child. A part of me can enjoy every little thing, can rock n roll . And  at the same time there is a part which is inert to every thing around me.

I will think about it tomorrow. After all tomorrow is another day !

Walking with my son.

The very first glance of him changed my world.

When he was a baby I used to wonder how it would feel to see him walking and waited impatiently to see those small feet set its first steps. Even when I saw other kids running I would say to myself " just a few more months " and he will also be out there running!

Now he is in third standard and I wonder where all those years have gone.

As a baby he was smart , friendly and intelligent. But somehow he was different from others even though we couldn't tell what was it.

He is very intelligent but he is not like other kids. That was what always confused us. He would struggle with the most simplest things. His memory is , well, I don't know what to say. I just rely on him without any doubt. He will align anything simply looking at the pictures in the manual . How he could see it fully in his mind I always wonder.

He always found it difficult to strike a friendship especially with kids of his age. But I have found him immensely enjoying with kids smaller than him.

He became very moody once he started to go to school.The problems seemed to increase when we would scold him for that. Teachers always complained about him for being very sensitive.

The real problem started when the spelling lessons began.  He  wrote every thing upside down in mirror writing.   jumbled the spellings. And would not read anything if he could help it . Lost umpteen number of pencils, and rubbers, scales and umbrellas . Never completed his notes. Would never remember his home works or assignments.

And I always thought it was his laziness. I will never be able to forgive myself for those times.

I recognized that he is a child with learning differences only after seeing the  movie " Tare zameen par". Thanks to Ameer and his crew for the effort they have taken. ( I was a hard core Ameer fan even from my school days, but never thought that he would give a message that will change my child's life.)

I identified this on the verge of losing him.  We had almost forgot how he laughed and he had become very stubborn . For the first time we realized, it was his helplessness that we thought as stubbornness.

It was the most shocking experience that happened in my life. After that I made a promise to myself that I will help him get through and will always be there for him .

Thanks to all the guidance on net.

At first he would not speak of his class or school or anything personal. The mental pain I had inflicted trying to make him perfect was more than I could imagine.

But I wouldn't give up.  I kept on asking him about  every silly thing I had always taken for granted.  I Hugged him , kissed him . Every day I would tell him, " We love You!"

We started to work on his strengths. Elocution, drawing, building blocks, puzzles , computer , school projects and so on...

Slowly, very slowly he began to respond. He began to respond to our love, care , support and patience.



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When he lost his things I said to myself that  my son is more precious to me than all those silly things. Instead I gave him a check list and a smiley to make him remember that we love him for what he is , and nothing , absolutely nothing would ever change it.

And believe me, slowly the child who used to lose all his things , who could never complete his class works and could only be found crying,  slid into the back of our memory and a  sweet boy who is very understanding , most lovable and confident of his strengths evolved . It took more than a year.

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Now we learn every thing in our own way. I don't have to teach him the portions taught at school as he knows them better than me. But I teach him how to write them  correctly for exams.

For maths I send him to Abacus classes and now he has improved a lot . When I think of the 1st and 2nd std boy who was so much teased for his slow writing he has gained so much .

My special thanks to his Abacus Trainer Ms.  Priya. . She  gave him confidence, support and company. Even then, I don’t know what will happen in the next term as it covers multiplication and division and he hasn't reached that level for Abacus.

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Thanks to his 2nd standard English teacher Ms Anitha who somehow did the magic and made him read books. He has become a voracious reader. Reads anything he could lay his hands on. Reads beautiful bed time stories  to his little sister.

( One thing about Dyslexia is it cannot be handled by a single individual . It needs the support of the family and society or anybody who comes in contact with the child. As these children are very observant they can sense even the slightest change in your facial expression . So you have to be alert almost always.)


Now he is  the captain of his team . I help him with every work he has to do even if it is some what out of the way. He has his own ideas of doing his projects. And believe me, the results are amazing.

One day we were making a chart on Delhi  and casually my son told me ” Mother, Now I have so many friends . I don’t know why.” It was his way of saying that he was very happy with it . It took some time for the words to sink in.

It were the most beautiful words he has ever told me. Just like some body had said, it may be a  small step for his friends but  a great leap for my son who had spent most of his time in school alone. Now, he goes to school with his cricket bat and ball and sometimes with his precious red football his Uncle had presented him.

I am happy that our  love and care has brought back smile on his face.

Even now sometimes he drive me out of my limits. Has difficulty in  making and writing sentences. Now also  he lose his things once in a while , gets bullied by his  class mates or van mates now and then, may not complete his work or may became frustrated when things doesn't go his way.


But after a while he realizes that he can get through . And we know the hard work he puts to adjust with his exceptions and that makes all the difference.

Today when I walk with him holding his hands there is hope ! Hope of a future not so far away when those small hands will be big and strong enough to hold me !

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Note :  I write this for all those parents out there who don't realize the turmoil their child is going through . To those who don't realize the effort your child puts to keep up with your standards.  All they want  You is to accept them.

Realize it !

Set down your standards a little bit. Let your child smile, laugh and play! Let them do what they love to and let them not be afraid to wake up in the morning worrying what awaits them today at school and at home!

Make this world a better place for him/her to live.And it is never too late!