Ruby makes Pasta

What is special in cooking . Nothing special in it other than mere wonder for normal kids. But for children who can understand only with their hands on there is a lot to study in  every thing they do ,with out them knowing that they are learning.

Ruby voluntered to make pasta because he likes cooking and he was so much taken up by the tangy tomato ad and the free sticker they have in it.

At first I also thought it to be a time pass. I was enagaged with some thing else , so I asked him to read the instructions himself and arrange things needed.

So he asked me about litres and ml. Well, I am as ignorant as he is. When it comes to conversion my mind gets filled with fog. So I digged my brain for the conversion. ( I am not writing it because I am not sure :-D ) I told him how many ml makes 1 litre. How many cups make 500 ml and the milk we get here is 500 ml and a lots of other trivia which could be connected to this.

Then he asked me where he can get a 'tsp' . So I collected the different types of spoons we have and explained to him about tea spoon , table spoon and soup spoon and the volumes they hold.  1 tea spoon = 5 ml and 1 tb sp = 15 ml . I connected it with his medicine cup which holds 5ml.

Then he wanted to check the time.  He is very precise about time. Even when  he looks at a normal clock he will tell time only in minute minutes like 8.32 or 12.01 like that . So nothing much for me to do. Now he has a stop watch to do his abacus and he would have happily used it.

[caption id="attachment_1020" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Food fusion - Pasta with bread and chana. Later they made it into a sandwich :-D"][/caption]

The sheer joy of seeing him completing things on his own is beyond words.

And you know what, he will remeber every bit of it. Even the minute details of those 30 minutes because he enjoyed it.

I can say confidently because he directed Swetha when it was her turn to make pasta.

And the words in the instructions ; It has been taken undoubtedly into his vocabulary. And I know that he can do the same thing with much more ease just by looking at the pictures given.

Just see around . There are lots of things that can be connected to kids .

Oh! What an idea Sirji :-D

Swetha had been complaining for a bed lamp for so many days.

At last I decided to fix one . I had some other petty maintenance also. So I called for the electrician and as we know him close I told him how Swetha is adamant about the bed lamp. She came back from school before he finished his work . The bed lamp was yet to be fixed.

She was watching the work and in between I asked her if there is any thing  she wants him to do for her.  I wanted to know if she can connect between fixing the bed lamp and electrician. The electrician also joined in and asked her if there is anything that he should do for her.

I could see that she was confused but thought she would come up with it.

" hmmm ... I don't have anything in particular. I you really want to do something you can complete my home work for me'". She was so serious . My jaw dropped.

" any thing but writing for you , little one. I have never been good in writing. " The electrician replied in the same tone. Only after that we burst out into laughing.  :-D

Swetha got  furious. She did really mean it.  It took me some time and so much effort to explain to her that electricians are not expected to do such works and she has to do her home works by herself.

I am sure she will out source all her work and chores if she can help it . :-D

No more Harry Potter reading nights!

" From now on no body is going to read Harry Potter here . Especially at nights!  " My five year old little girl announced !

And why is that sweetie ?  Unlike her brother she always have explanation.

' Cant you think that there are small children near and they would be scared and it would be better if I read them in my mind  ? "  Yes these were the exact words  my little girl said .

She glared at me with burning eyes. I tried not to laugh. The last thing she wants is to be laughed it. It can really pull her nerve.

'and I don't want to see any book which has pages more than 20. Just look at this book . It has 22, 23 .. Disgusting !  " She flipped through the pages to show me .  " If you want to read loud you can read my Winnie the Pooh instead !"

It took me two days to figure out that her baby books have pages  only up to 20 at the most . Her books will be over within 5 or ten minutes. But she wants to keep fold marks  like her brother and me to continue the next day. I try to read only 2 or 3 pages at a time so that she can continue the next day.  But she has figured it out from the page numbers.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't meet both of them earlier in my life. The only flaw I see in myself is my short temper . Other than that I would be a sweet angel , you know. I am not kidding. Those who know me will testify that. Now  my kids  are  teaching me how to get more , just by being patient . Surely, I feel I should have met them earlier in my life.

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Oct 12

No, my finding was wrong. Now she is adamant that I don't make any fold marks in her books. Her new books will be tampered that way ! That is what she says ! But she doesn't want to finish them in one go. May be  should make her some Book marks.

Saying about it I remember how surprised they were to see one of old book marks gifted to me by my friend. Obviously it  haven't even occurred to them that I also used to go to school and colleges and I also had friends who cared a lot for me!

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Ruby and Emerald!

I am tired explaining to my kids every time that they are equally important to me. And if I say one is good it does not mean that other is bad!

I realised that  I will have to work out something to make them understand ! Then this idea struck me.

I started to explain. More to myself than to them.

Imagine that I have got a Ruby and an Emerald. Which one is more good? It took my Son only a second to answer it.

" How can we ever compare them ? They are both precious stones !"  Thank God ! He knows ! Now only he completed the lesson 'Ruby returns' !

So you two are my Ruby and  my Emerald . Both colours are my favourites  and I cannot choose between them .



Which one do You want to be ?  A Ruby or an Emerald ? I asked him without giving any suggestions .  I had a feeling he was going to stick to it all through his life. So I wanted him to make the decision on his own.He wanted to be ' Ruby ' with out any doubt.

Now he seemed to understand why you cant compare two kids.

But the next day he surprised me by digging out one of his old school magazines which had a writing on Navaratnas. He made me read every bit of it to see if a Emerald is in any way better than a Ruby . Or if there is anything better than a Ruby . He seems to be content with what has been written.

Incidentally I found out that Ruby is the birthstone of July borns ! How amazing!

The next day he surprised me even more explaining to me about the Navaratnas in Akbar's court and what they were specialised for. Oh god! I will have to work even harder to keep up with him!

My daughter has not given in as she doesn't know what a precious stone means! But I am sure she will also come around. Being a Scorpio her birth stone is Topaz. But an Emerald will do,  as emerald green suits her very well!.

I cant think of the time when my son finds out the emerald ring in my finger. I will have to find out some crazy explanation by then or get a ruby myself.That sounds fine with me! ha ha!

So much for a cooked up Ruby and Emerald  Story.

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August 11

This was posted almost a year ago . Now they know they are treated equally . And They have found out daughter's birth stone is pearl . And she is ready to accept it .

We move on with life and they are now ' Ruby 'and' Pearl '.

K for kite

Swetha wants to do a kite. She has her own ideas of making it. Mind you. It is not in the curriculum. But she wants to make it.

Anyway in the evening they settled in front of the tv as usual. I was about to tell them what we could do. But then I thought . No, I have to change that nature of mine .

I will have to let them lead me.

So I made myself ask them what they  want to do in the evening.

Then Siva spontaneously told me he wants to make a kite for Swetha. So he  has  ideas in his mind other than watching tv. I flinched.

We started without anything. We looked into our activity box for odds and ends. Slowly every thing poured in. Their ideas kept on improving and changing.

They took turns to cut  and paste it.

The kite was finished within no time and it was very cute.

They couldn't have been  more happier .

Why cant a full time planning Mom beat a Cool Dad?

" You want a list of your son's favourite things ? Here they are ! He likes to read a lot of books, He like to go to new places, He likes to know how people live there........ And a dozen more! " His father told me .

"Hey, how do you know?" I asked.

" I just asked him" he stated as though it was the most simplest thing to do.

'This is not fair. This is cheating. You got only a jiffy to talk to him while I was talking to his teacher . Surely you must have bargained him for something. You never speak to him in long lengths ( Like I do)' ! I wanted to say.

And' Siva , You confided in your father despite me spending all time with you and running around to straighten every thing out for you?

What did I miss?' I have never heard my son answering his questions so directly. And his father would never bother to read between the lines.

'This not at all fair! There sure should be some arrangements between both of you. I would like to call for a foul. '

There were lots of things rapid firing in my head.

But then , I should have known it. His father is much smarter than his mother. It is as simple as that!

They both sat there grinning at me as though they share some secret code.

And I tell you, I love him for that! For getting better of me every time without even trying!

What should I do?

My son is in third std. He has Dyslexia. He keeps a time table and is able to do the chores by himself.He is now friendly with his classmates even though he does not have a constant friend. He is very interested in science. Trivia about space, ocean, earth ,nature , working manuals , alignments and a lot. And of course TV and cptr games.

I have some other areas where he struggles and I don't know how to handle them. Please give me your idea so that I can help him out more efficiently.

1. His areas of interests are so vast I cannot point out in which area is he really gifted.

2. He used to enjoy drawing and legos very much and is good at it. Now his ideas are much bigger and he doesn't want to do it because he cannot complete it the way he wants it. He doesnt seem to be pleased with himself no matter how much we appreciate him. He also seems to be worried becoz his friends told him that his drawings are not that good. How shud I tackle this?

3. He is very interested in books . Small books and comics he reads himself. But other books like Harry potter, secret seven etc. he wants me to read them to him. He can comprehend them very nicely . Should I read to him or should I insist that he read by himself?

4. Some times he gets bullied by his van mates. Every day he has to run about for a seat becoz the boys wont allow him to sit along with them. Now I have asked the van driver to give him a permanent seat. Is it okey to interfere in such trivial matters ?

If you think this is  ridiculous please take it as whining of an ignorant parent.  Otherwise please help me.

Giftedness , Learning Disability, Dyslexia; Please Don't feel bad to get help!

I have only heard every body telling me that my son can do better. "He is just not trying "and "he is distracted ".

Even though we realised earlier he may be having a learning problem I hadn't asked any body for help. I thought they may, well, think I am exaggerating or even worse think that my son is just dumb which I don't want to hear.

I weighed in mind several times whether I should or I shouldn't when I asked his Paediatrician , Dr. M.Venugopal about his problem. Then he asked me, " Why didn't you tell me earlier. Please get your child assessed . That is the simplest thing to do. It will not affect his confidence. And more, you can be sure if anything needs to be done."

He gave me a referance letter to Child Care Centre . I was dumbfounded. Help was so near, within an arm's distance and it took me so much time to realise it. I think this is where the importance of awareness comes.

I tell about this to anybody I come across , bcoz only God knows may be their child is also suffering and may be he/she needs help and they do not realise. I think about the years my son suffered, I think about the change I could have bring if I had known.

As Siva has got a very good memory he does good in his exams. Otherwise he struggles a lot in lot of areas.

But this year they have more self writing questions. While preparing for the exams I found that he stumbles with basic words like ' on, the , be'  as though he has never seen them before. That is when I decided to go straight away and take an assessment.

This time he cudn't write first term exams as he was ill and so there were no marks to look out for. So I cud get through and get assistance from resource dept. And his new class teacher couldn't have been more considerate.

When I went to meet his resource teacher yesterday it was a completely different story.

No complaints of being distracted or not trying. Till then I had been defending him all along .

Actually she told me " Your son  is getting bored in his class. Give him more mental and physical work. Please  Don't stress him about spellings. I know what you have been going through. Your son has a 'Bright normal  IQ ' and it is very good.We will see that he is properly taken care of . Principal Mam wants a list of gifted children. We will give him work that matches his IQ. "

Suddenly I found out that I have no more words left to say. It was the first time he was wholeheartedly accepted for his intelligence and God given gifts. I could feel tears welling in my eyes . I somehow managed to  mouth a 'Thank you' and simply left the place !

 

Depressed…….

I like to view at my life,   from outside as if I am watching a movie. Like a different person. Sometimes I feel I am sleeping on my bed in some other planet , satellite , asteroid, comet or even a meteorite and  having a long long dream. I may wake up any moment and see that it is only a dream.

I want my dreams to be sweet and beautiful. I hate it when my sweet dreams turn into the worst night mares.

When I look from up here I can see myself  moving around on earth caught up in lots and lots of thought bubbles , People I care about bustling around with their chores  in different cubicles  . I get scared at the vividness of the sight and stop concentrating.

Sometime in my life I have learned not to get much attached to anything. That is the best way to keep yourself away from being hurt. A part of me can love every one  wholeheartedly and with the solemnness of a child. A part of me can enjoy every little thing, can rock n roll . And  at the same time there is a part which is inert to every thing around me.

I will think about it tomorrow. After all tomorrow is another day !

Walking with my son.

The very first glance of him changed my world.

When he was a baby I used to wonder how it would feel to see him walking and waited impatiently to see those small feet set its first steps. Even when I saw other kids running I would say to myself " just a few more months " and he will also be out there running!

Now he is in third standard and I wonder where all those years have gone.

As a baby he was smart , friendly and intelligent. But somehow he was different from others even though we couldn't tell what was it.

He is very intelligent but he is not like other kids. That was what always confused us. He would struggle with the most simplest things. His memory is , well, I don't know what to say. I just rely on him without any doubt. He will align anything simply looking at the pictures in the manual . How he could see it fully in his mind I always wonder.

He always found it difficult to strike a friendship especially with kids of his age. But I have found him immensely enjoying with kids smaller than him.

He became very moody once he started to go to school.The problems seemed to increase when we would scold him for that. Teachers always complained about him for being very sensitive.

The real problem started when the spelling lessons began.  He  wrote every thing upside down in mirror writing.   jumbled the spellings. And would not read anything if he could help it . Lost umpteen number of pencils, and rubbers, scales and umbrellas . Never completed his notes. Would never remember his home works or assignments.

And I always thought it was his laziness. I will never be able to forgive myself for those times.

I recognized that he is a child with learning differences only after seeing the  movie " Tare zameen par". Thanks to Ameer and his crew for the effort they have taken. ( I was a hard core Ameer fan even from my school days, but never thought that he would give a message that will change my child's life.)

I identified this on the verge of losing him.  We had almost forgot how he laughed and he had become very stubborn . For the first time we realized, it was his helplessness that we thought as stubbornness.

It was the most shocking experience that happened in my life. After that I made a promise to myself that I will help him get through and will always be there for him .

Thanks to all the guidance on net.

At first he would not speak of his class or school or anything personal. The mental pain I had inflicted trying to make him perfect was more than I could imagine.

But I wouldn't give up.  I kept on asking him about  every silly thing I had always taken for granted.  I Hugged him , kissed him . Every day I would tell him, " We love You!"

We started to work on his strengths. Elocution, drawing, building blocks, puzzles , computer , school projects and so on...

Slowly, very slowly he began to respond. He began to respond to our love, care , support and patience.



[caption id="attachment_935" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The Evening sky"][/caption]

When he lost his things I said to myself that  my son is more precious to me than all those silly things. Instead I gave him a check list and a smiley to make him remember that we love him for what he is , and nothing , absolutely nothing would ever change it.

And believe me, slowly the child who used to lose all his things , who could never complete his class works and could only be found crying,  slid into the back of our memory and a  sweet boy who is very understanding , most lovable and confident of his strengths evolved . It took more than a year.

[caption id="attachment_931" align="aligncenter" width="295" caption="Rocket race"][/caption]





Now we learn every thing in our own way. I don't have to teach him the portions taught at school as he knows them better than me. But I teach him how to write them  correctly for exams.

For maths I send him to Abacus classes and now he has improved a lot . When I think of the 1st and 2nd std boy who was so much teased for his slow writing he has gained so much .

My special thanks to his Abacus Trainer Ms.  Priya. . She  gave him confidence, support and company. Even then, I don’t know what will happen in the next term as it covers multiplication and division and he hasn't reached that level for Abacus.

[caption id="attachment_934" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Sunset fishing"][/caption]



Thanks to his 2nd standard English teacher Ms Anitha who somehow did the magic and made him read books. He has become a voracious reader. Reads anything he could lay his hands on. Reads beautiful bed time stories  to his little sister.

( One thing about Dyslexia is it cannot be handled by a single individual . It needs the support of the family and society or anybody who comes in contact with the child. As these children are very observant they can sense even the slightest change in your facial expression . So you have to be alert almost always.)


Now he is  the captain of his team . I help him with every work he has to do even if it is some what out of the way. He has his own ideas of doing his projects. And believe me, the results are amazing.

One day we were making a chart on Delhi  and casually my son told me ” Mother, Now I have so many friends . I don’t know why.” It was his way of saying that he was very happy with it . It took some time for the words to sink in.

It were the most beautiful words he has ever told me. Just like some body had said, it may be a  small step for his friends but  a great leap for my son who had spent most of his time in school alone. Now, he goes to school with his cricket bat and ball and sometimes with his precious red football his Uncle had presented him.

I am happy that our  love and care has brought back smile on his face.

Even now sometimes he drive me out of my limits. Has difficulty in  making and writing sentences. Now also  he lose his things once in a while , gets bullied by his  class mates or van mates now and then, may not complete his work or may became frustrated when things doesn't go his way.


But after a while he realizes that he can get through . And we know the hard work he puts to adjust with his exceptions and that makes all the difference.

Today when I walk with him holding his hands there is hope ! Hope of a future not so far away when those small hands will be big and strong enough to hold me !

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Note :  I write this for all those parents out there who don't realize the turmoil their child is going through . To those who don't realize the effort your child puts to keep up with your standards.  All they want  You is to accept them.

Realize it !

Set down your standards a little bit. Let your child smile, laugh and play! Let them do what they love to and let them not be afraid to wake up in the morning worrying what awaits them today at school and at home!

Make this world a better place for him/her to live.And it is never too late!