Our books for the fortnight

The child

I always want to be a child.

Never to grow up!

To be my father’s girl ,

To have the freedom to cry to my heart’s fill when he scolds me,

To cling to his fingers , To sit on his shoulders ,

To browbeat my sweet mother into permitting the weirdest deals ,

To linger over  the last drop of my morning tea ignoring her calls ,

To be lazy to get dressed up for  school,

To run to her when she comes home from office ,

To make faces at the dinner table,

To fight with my sister ,

To spank my brother ,

To play,  To sing , To dance ,

To be a child.

Ente maavum pookkum..

For a few weeks I have been hugging and stroking and talking to my mango trees with a prayer that this year they will give sweet mangoes instead of the sour ones they usually have .

Not much later I saw small small flower sprouts on it . Ah ! This year it is going to be great.

I have  kept a cool recipe from my mom -in- law to make tasty tender mangoes in brine. I even made a  list of friends to whom I should give the extra mangoes . I could see how kids will enjoy the ripe mangoes . It is one of Siva's favourite sport to pluck them all along with his father.

All the  mango trees in the neighborhood are heaving with flowers. And what did my sprouts turn out to be ?

New leaves ! Yes, a whole round of new leaves when every where else there are flowers.

And I get........



Heaps and heaps of fallen leaves to rake !

One day standing under the canopy I announced it . " I am going to cut this tree. " That is the best thing to do. At least the front yard could be kept clean.

And what did I see the next day ?

Flowers . I am overwhelmed !

I have heard that plants can hear . I remember the speech given by much admired Dr.Gopalakrishnan Sir(  Senior scientist working in CSIR, Trivandrum and Honorary Director for Indian Institute of Scientific Heritage) on how somebody has developed a rose with no thorns in it just by asking the Rose plant to do so every day !

The newly set aquarium and instant story.

Monthly cleaning of the aquarium is one of my most dreaded chores. But thanks to my kids , anything messy is their favourite.They will help me all through it.

When we arranged the aquarium after wards Ruby wanted to place a treasure chest ( an old ring box ) and some stairs . This lead to a whole new idea. Why can't we arrange an under water world. So we gathered the odds and ends and went for it.



There is  a house , a pebble path , a forest , a pillar rock and an under water tunnel .

( The ( under water tunnel ) broken pot is very important. They are pieces of earthen pot Siva had taken to his ' show and tell' two years back.  He had spoken about ' eco  friendliness '' . The pot broke even before the program started . In spite of that he participated and got first prize. It is a piece of pride for both of us. I just couldn't throw it away. )

The most amazing part is Ruby instantly told us a story about the newly set aquarium with the fishes as characters. When I suggested I will write them down he  told another one . And all this with in almost five minutes. He was so taken up by me writing the story for him he read it to his aunt over the phone and the next day took it to his school. I wrote it with pencil in case he wants to change it later. He also drew a picture of the aquarium .



My son has almost quit writing because he was so fed up with spelling. His sentence formation is also not good. But when I copied down his story for him while he was orating it, I was amazed to see the correct sentence formations , vocabulary , character formation and also the rapid fire of ideas and thoughts of each character. ( I can never concentrate like that )

Since then I have been wondering how these kids can store so much in their brain without giving out a hint of it until we reach them. We will always think they are sitting idle. When I asked him for a story about his new aquarium he was so spontaneous.

I have got a long way to go . He is not yet ready to write on his own. I copied the story down just to show him how talented he is . And he was so proud of it . ( more than making a story , me wanting to write it down )

May be after so many years when he become a famous writer I can say that I wrote his first manuscript :-)

Loopholes !

Hey Guys, There are so many loopholes in the story of Rapunzel. For instance ,

1. how did the witch put Rapunzel in the tower ?

2. If there was stairs or if she fly on a broomstick why she cant use cant use that instead of climbing the hair ?

3. After cutting Rapunzel's hair  how did she get down to leave Rapunzel in the forest and how she climbed up afterwards to wait for the prince ?

And I am stuck ! Really stuck ! Does anybody know where Brother Grimm lives ? We could ask him!

Daughter - A precious gift !

It was Swetha's story time and we were lying on the couch cuddled to each other. So I started .........

Once upon a time there lived a sweet little girl .............

Mother, Was it me ?

No, Not you!   Let me see....

................

Snow white , Sleeping beauty, Cindrella, Goldilocks, Beauty,.....

.................

Rapunzel ?

Rapunzel ! Who is that ?

Oh Yes, So it was Rapunzel !

I started the story and moved on very slowly. I didn't remember exactly how the Prince saved Rapunzel. So Rapunzel had lots of time to stay with her parents and then witch. Just like I expected Swetha was fast asleep by the time the Prince entered . So I have an extra day to find out what the Prince did.

The next morning I was busy with my chores and Kids were on their own . I really thought Swetha forgot about the story. In between she came to me holding this paper.




Mother, see  its Rapunzel !

I was really taken up by the picture. ( see that the Prince is not yet there in the picture ) . It was the first time she has done something completely on her own. As an individual. Until then it was just following her brother. And my heart swell with pride and happiness.

Then it occured to me. I realised that my little girl is growing . Thankfully, soon she will outgrow the frequent tantrums and girlish stubbornness .

And soon she will be out of her childhood. Soon she will be able to figure out things on her own , to work all on her own and may not even need my consent or approval or appreciation. And soon she will be big enough to embark on her own life. I can instantly feel the emptiness.

Then I decided the easiest way is to grow up along with her. To be her best friend.

A girl child can be your bosom friend , loving sister , naughty cousin, caring mother , some times even your mother in law and at the same time your sweet little daughter !

A daughter is surely a precious gift right from the heaven !

WHEN GOD CREATED DAUGHTERS...
He took very special care to find the precious treasures
that would make them sweet and fair...
He gave them smiles of angels, then explored the midnight skies
And took a bit of stardust to make bright and tinkling eyes...
He fashioned them from sugar and a little bit of spice,
He gave them sunny laughter and everything that is nice...
He smiled when He made daughters, because He knew He had
Created love and happiness for every mom and dad !   (Courtesy - orkut communities )

Loopholes in Rapunzel

She found out that , There are so many loopholes in the story of Rapunzel. For instance ,

1. how did the witch put Rapunzel in the tower ?

2. If there was stairs or if she fly on a broomstick why she cant use cant use that instead of climbing the hair ?

3. After cutting Rapunzel’s hair  how did she get down to leave Rapunzel in the forest and how she climbed up afterwards to wait for the prince ?

And I am stuck ! Really stuck ! Does anybody know where Brother Grimm lives ? We could ask him!

Barbies and teddy.

I don't know why Swetha wants a new barbie every year for her birthday.

Any other present has to be supplemented by a barbie as well. I am getting tired of this.

And what she want them for ?

To hug and play ? As her soul mate ?

NO ! Just to mutilate them in every way possible. Good thing that I found out their dresses from under the heap of toys. Maybe  she doesn't want the barbie to outsmart her in beauty. :-D

There is no partiality here.

All the barbies have got the same treatment .

Not even one has escaped.




This year it is Sally and it is only a matter of time for her turn to come.







And her teddy?




He sleeps peacefully in his dig while she is gone to school!

Book Marks For Swetha

It was Siva's Book Mark making day. And  some how I managed  to send him some smart paper cuts which obviously none of his friends had !

I had promised Swetha a few weeks before  that I will make some book marks for her as she doesn't want to keep reading folds on her books ! It is no wonder that she didn't forget it . She had only been back from school and wanted to make them right away.

Thankfully Siva came forward to help me . He was so excited about the whole thing as teacher told him his book marks were very nice.

I just had to give them some cut out papers.



And some stickers ....



And freedom !



Beautiful book marks were ready in no time .



My Only contribution  was a reference . A gift from an old friend  , Long cherished !




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( It was  11.00 pm when I had reached the book shop for the chart paper and the shop keeper had almost closed   . Thank God he is not one of types who shows long faces . And I was relieved when the next time I went there he asked me in detail about this book mark making thing bcoz with book week celebrations going on in full swing he  is getting  so many queries !! )

The Invisible Thread of Karma !

I don’t believe in the bonds and relations framed by humans.

So many people have told me how naturally me, my brother and sister relate to each other ! . When I think about it deeper it is not  just that 'Blood is thicker than water'  . There is more to it . It is knowing  and accepting each other for what we are . It is being there for each other !

In my life I have seen people who by their deeds have acted  as father , mother , sister, brother , friend, mentor and more……. .

There have been People  who came from nowhere to help me when I was in distress..


Friends  who gave me company when I was alone , showed me how wonderful this world really is,  made me smile and laugh ,

People who caused irreversible pain and in some way helped me ,  changed my life forever.

Mentors who enlightened me , made me think,  helped me move on ,

People who inspired me far more than anybody who knows me .


Some times switching their roles

And most of this with out them ever knowing  what their deeds really meant to me .


Yes, I believe in the invisible thread of karma that bind Humans  together and make us  do what we are destined to , no matter we know it or not , no matter how far or near  !

And once they  finish their Mission they simply vanish into the thin air or  change their roles and it becomes impossible even to trace them back  !

One Woman Thousand Moments …..!

My best day begins with a cup of tea that I can savour watching the flowers and chirping birds……… It ends with, me cuddled up in my bed……….and the sweet smell of jasmines, by the window….. fills the room.

……I love to walk barefooted on grass covered with morning dew and to watch the small fishes swimming in a pond……………….I love to watch the endless waves on a beach……… and to gaze at the stars in the night……

My moods keep on changing and even I don’t know how. It will be fun to keep a track of it.

Our little expeditions - Constellations

Siva had a portable planetaurium show at his school and he is all the more excited about Universe and planets and constellations, even though he cannot pronounce it correctly.

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When we googled in to see the 'Great bear' , he immediately pointed out the Great dipper. He is a bit confused about which way it is pointing. And I almost burst into tears . Not because of seeing my son's brilliance. But it is just impossible for me to see it , no matter however hard I try. ( Not even with the line drawn connecting those stars. )

If possible I would have borrowed his eyes for a while . Just to see the constellation at least for once. For me , stars are just.. well, beautiful bright spots scattered in the sky. I can see and savor their beauty but I cannot see their alignments.

Three dimensional view of anything is one of Siva's greatest strength and it is one of my greatest weakness. I cannot help wondering what a nice pair we make. " Mannankattayum Kariyilayum " !

From the Great bear we moved on to Polar bear- North Pole - Arctic and Antarctic regions - Near to the bear - Polar bear- Away from the bear - penguins- Penguins live in South Pole because there are no predators there on land - They make nest with pebbles and bones . And from there we moved on to the countries near the polar region.

After dyscalculia.

Now that I know I have this problem it is not horrible as I thought it to be .

Now I know exactly the areas I struggle . I can pull myself together getting ready and thus avoid the panics that otherwise occured so frequently.  I don't have to feel bad when I can't do some thing. I can calm myself and start doing it from a different angle. Yes, I am working on it.

Two days before I was able to place a phone call using the coin box in one go, for the first time in my life . Yes,  You can't believe it . Can you ?

I knew what will be coming and I prepared myself before I started. I read the instructions carefully and progressed remembering to concentrate on the sequence. And there I was talking through it. A week Before it was a horror.

With so much effort I make myself do multiplication and sums along with Siva . When he does his Brain gym I also do the  mental sums and Swetha gives the questions. I found out my old calculator and we take turns to check our sums. Yes, I can do it.

It feels like I had been treading  through a dark path which seemed never ending and now  suddenly I realise , I have reached midway . I can see a glimmer of the sunlight and the path that lay ahead is beautifully lit. The only thing I have to do is keep my pace and walk slow and steady. Just like the tortoise in the story I told Swetha yesterday.

In Harmony.

A few months before I would not have thought of my kids doing something other than watching TV , completely on their own and in  harmony.

But now I don't compel them to do any thing. They can decide on their own what they want to do for the evening. I have even stopped giving the time schedules for TV. And what did I get ? They find out their  interests. They come and tell me what they want to do and what help they want from me .They keep track of their projects and their library. They have complete access to the crafts and they do not misuse them.


I was in the Kitchen for some time and when I came to the living room ,  saw both of them so engrossed in their work.

 

Drowned in Dyscalculia

The urge to count with my fingers even in front of others. It is irresistible .  But Otherwise I will simply not be able to complete the sum.  I like to go to super markets mostly because they will tell you the exact balance and they will give you an exact bill. They wont ask you to check it once again. And I can be sure if they  billed something I forgot to take.

If you see me listening to some body who tells me about time or schedules or their strategies or projected amounts  or bills or banking , you may think  I am listening keenly or doing the calculations in my mind . But no, I am just staring into blankness. All of it does not mean any thing to me. I have given up listening to them a long time ago. ( My husband says it is the same for him when he goes to a doctor. Is there some condition like that as well ? I wonder ! )

If  my friends remember correctly I have an Id card with birth date recorded as 1997 instead of 1977. Mahesh , Are  you reading this ? Yes, I am now 13 years old or is it 12 ? Any way,  finally I am into my teens!

Now I have a watch which does not even have numbers. I just fell in love the shape of the dial and strap and couldn't talk myself out of it. But now my times are so vague . Somewhere around something. And looking at the watch dial I feel like looking into a placid pond. It doesn't mean anything. It is okey with me because I don't care so much about time. I just want to know how much more time is left from the time limit I have . ( 5 or 10 minutes to reach some where .. like that  .) It need not be precise and I don't care.

But I hate it when people ask me time . I am so embarrassed. I have to multiply the long hand number with 5 and find the product and then find the short hand number . And then again check the long hand and the again check  the multiplication and ( getting mad ???? )then again relate it to short hand and think if the multiplication has gone wrong , think if  what I think  is correct and then decide on some thing  . ( 15, 30 and 45 is easy but even then I have to mulitply  )

I have set my mobile banner in such a way that I can see time, date and day in letters . Not picture screen . And also calender. It is a blessing that we can carry it around.

I have clocks in every room , in every single position. because I will never know what time of day it is. I have very poor time sesnse. I will get ready early and wait for the correct time . And then I get messed up again in the last minute and reach late. How people really sense time ? I don't know.

I am very poor with days and dates. Now I am so fed up with up my inability to remember I have stopped taking in data. I just ask the relevant people to remind me and tell them not to  expect me to remember it no matter however important it is . Yes I know my birth date. Year ? I have some how mugged it up. But if somebody ask my age I am cornered. Earlier I used to count them .  But I don't that will apply now. Now every year I by heart my age. Wedding Anniversary ..tenth or eleventh ? ( my sister has got a head for numbers and dates and she makes it a point to call me before important dates ) My kid's birth dates ...I will count and subtract and do whatever possible.

Few days back only I told my sister I cannot understand the layout and  I have given up. Instead I drew every single page of the web site, with drop downs , in the order , how I want it to be and handed it over to the professional.  I think the persevering nature covers  the  problem to some extend and doesn't let anybody find out how dreadful it is to be a dyscalculic.

The wonderful eyes of a 5 year old.

We were coming back from one of our usual evening strolls. It was getting dark and the stars had started to shine. I pointed at a bright star towards the south eastern part of the sky and wondered what it was.

It was very bright and I said aloud it could be the Alpha centaury because it is so bright. I had learned some where Alpha centaury doesn't blink as it is most near to us.. Again I wondered if it is the polar star ? But the Polar star is visible only in the morning. ( north or south ? I am not sure. )

So I had no idea what this star was but I kept on babbling just to continue the talk with Siva. I thought I will check some where later and explain it to him.

Siva , of course had no doubts. He was sure it was a planet . because it was not blinking. Oh ! yes, planets are also there. Then it came to me it could be Venus! The brightest planet . Siva's suggestion of it being Mars was cut out as there was no red hue.

Jupiter? Saturn ? Can you see the rings ?

We were so caught up in our conversation we forgot about Swetha who was trying hard to keep up with us ! Of course she also had her own findings . She thought both of us were  dumb fools ! Cannot see through the most simple thing.

She interrupted us to say the most beautiful words !" Mother , it is just a fire fly high up there !"

And she was so sure about it. I envy her for the wonder a 5 year old's eyes have . Oh God ! Please let me see this world with those eyes! So innocent and so naive !

I think what we saw then was Venus . Points to Siva :-(  .

Venus is visible in the South eastern part of evening sky and South western part of morning sky. Polar star is visible here only in the early morning and only in the North. It doesn't change its position ( Dhruva Nakshatram ). And Alpha centaury is a cluster of stars.

My journey through Dyscalculia - Give me a calculator

Give me a calculator, I will just throw it away. Give me an ATM card and I will SCREAM .

Just a couple of days back only I realised I might be having Dyscalculia which can  be described in most simple words as number blindness . You can check the symptoms of Dyscalculia here !

I can completely relate to all of these. Actually it looks like my autobiography.

Even before I knew about this condition I had known exactly what my problems were and could even put them into words. But then I didn't know all these problems were interconnected and pointed to a single condition. And then I didn't know this was the answer to all the frustrations, anger, despair , depression , low self esteem , and helplessness I had felt all through  my life.

I needed to list down my problems one by one ,  so that I can find how to tackle each of them.  Without a list I am lost. Some times I even keep a list of all the lists I have with me.

Earlier I used to rely on calculator for my day to day sums. I will try 5 or 6  times to complete the sequence without mistake and eventually give up. And if I manage to get through and try to recheck my answer,  then I am lost. I will get a different answer every time.

I have always despised scientific calculators. My husband being in Accounting,  like the most complex ones. And I have the most simplest one with me..

For the past two days I have been reading a lot from the dyscalculia forum. And I realise there are so many people out there who suffer exactly like me.  I found the following there . This is exactly how it is for me to work with a calculator.

! Let's see , did I type in the plus sign and oh the equal sign uhm I don't remember :! Start over Concentrate Add, subtract . . . .Oh no distraction . Can't add or sutract with or without a calculator!

zero or two zeros , decimal or zero , did I press '+' again . Did I press '=' and is this the answer ? It is a total disaster. I have completely given up using a calculator. I don't even carry one now.

When I try to do a sum in my mind it is as though my shortsightedness has affected my mind also. My mind gets filled with fog and the numbers start to dissolve. It is like looking out of the window when it is  dark and misty. Some times I imagine to wipe  off the mist just like we do when we can't see through the front glass of a car when it is raining.

But the image just get bizarre and I cant go further. The numbers start moving, turn upside down, reverse, blink..........

The numbers won't stand straight for me to add or subtract . Division.........! Don't even think about it....... Every thing will get dark and go beyond my area of vision......Percentage and interests and I will run away ! .........Ask me to count something and you will see me in a maze. Counting and recounting.

And the most happiest thing that happened in my life was that I got married to a maths genius. ( I don't have to do the calculations any more :-D )

I think my hubby understands maths and accounts even more than human language. Ha ha ! Some times he just gets bewildered that I cant even do the simple day to day maths . Or why I can't count properly .Because other wise I insist that I have above average intelligence . ( my belief !)

But I tell you ,This world is a dreadful place for people who cant do maths properly. Remembering all the faces that stared at me when I stumbled with simple bills and change.

This all happened before I knew I am a dyscalculic. (yes , I am starting to accept the term.)

And you know in which stage I am in ? Phobia. Afraid of Maths and related devices. Bank Phobia. Afraid to handle cash . I dont know how many times i have sworn " why we didn't stick to barter system "

Apprehensive of every thing and every body if I have to deal with numbers and calculations and fractions and schedules and so many things.

But I wont give up. Now that I know it , I will find some way to tackle at least some of the problems . One of my greatest strength is Perseverance. ( I wrote this before I stumbled upon the words of this great great man. )

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer- Albert Einstein  ( A dyslexic and dyscalculic himself. )

So, I am not alone !